Our Heroes Make Plans and God Laughs in A.X.E.: Judgment Day #3

Upon discovering that Captain America doesn’t live up to God’s standards, the goodies try to kill God. This goes about as well as you’d expect. A.X.E.: Judgment Day #3 is written by Kieron Gillen, drawn by Valerio Schiti, colored by Marte Gracia and lettered by Clayton Cowles.

Sean: When doing an event comic, there are often issues that focus primarily on a single moment within the narrative. It could be a complex action conducted by the goodies or a conversation about people’s feelings. Whatever the case may be, the consequence is there isn’t a multitude of things to talk about the way other issues have. It’s certainly a good issue about trying to kill God, but …

Rasmus: Yeah, this is a strange one to talk about. It’s a very good issue, with a lot of exciting scenes. But not a lot has really changed by the issue’s end, it’s more a cementation of where we were at the beginning. Which is facing an angry, judgeful God, the Progenitor, who is none too pleased with humanity.

God Will Bury You

Sean: Perhaps the best place to start is, well, with the immediate reaction to God deciding to judge humanity. We once again get a six-panel sequence going through the various non-superpowered beings’ reactions to this and, as with the previous issue’s look at things, it’s quite interesting. I think my favorite is Kenta’s, who basically reacts the way many a child has to horrific experiences: Does this mean I can stop doing homework?

Rasmus: It is definitely the most relatable reaction!

But the reaction that I think most of us wish we had is Captain America’s. In the face of overwhelming force, he just gets to work, ready to rally the troops and protect the world.

Which is why it’s so shocking when the Progenitor judges him first, finding him lacking. It’s a smart move by Gillen, showing just how dire the situation is and how hopeless it appears. In many ways Cap is Marvel’s version of Superman, someone who everyone can rally behind, someone who always fights the good fight, someone who represents the best in us. If he’s found lacking, what chance do the rest of us have?

Sean: At the same time, it notes the underlying political nature of the narrative. It’s a story about living on borrowed time. Those who have strived to make the world a better place are shown to have failed miserably. Cap represents the dream of America, the desire to be better. And, well …

But perhaps the more telling reaction is that of Druig, who rationalizes (with Uranos in his ear) that the best course of action is to keep doing what he was already doing and exterminate all mutants. This is in spite of God’s declaration in the previous issue that “YOU ARE ALL SQUABBLING CHILDREN! I’M SICK OF YOU FIGHTING ONE ANOTHER! PROVE TO ME YOU’RE WORTHWHILE, OR I’M KILLING YOU ALL!”

Rasmus: Someone misinterpreting a god, to further their own agenda? Why I never!

Either way, when the group (Ajak, Makkari, Mister Sinister, Iron Man and Phastos) at the Progenitor see how Cap is judged, they more or less decide that the only way to survive this ordeal is by defeating the threatening God. Which, given that this is superhero comics, does seem like the way to go. They have a plan and everything, too.

A Shaggy God Story

Rasmus: They’re going to kill God.

So having just built a new god to solve all their problems, they made everything much, much worse, surprising no one. But because they built the god, they also know how to defeat him. However, being a newly risen Celestial, he is full of power and the slightest error could end up sending forth destructive shockwaves. It has to be done carefully, and whether or not to actually go forth with the plan is not a decision to be made lightly. Unless your name is Sinister.

Sean: Ah, Mister Sinister, everyone’s favorite mutant bastard with a eugenics scheme. It’s simultaneously extremely easy to hate the bastard (He’s extremely flippant about the deaths of millions) and hard not to love him (He’s charming in his flippancy). Is it any wonder that the next X-event is going to be centered on him?

I mean, he literally responds to “You’re all going to die in a nuclear holocaust, but I’ll come back from the dead” with “Toodles!” He’s just so much fun to read.

But more than that, what’s interesting about the big plot to kill God is how quickly it goes. With something as big as this, you would think it would take the whole issue to commit. Instead it takes a little under half the length. Even then, most of it’s spent on the planning of the plan to kill God. The actual plan is on three pages. They’re delightful pages, action-packed pages, but three pages nevertheless.

And part of me thinks that’s enough. Yes, Valerio Schiti could’ve spent more page time drawing the action. Showing every punch Doop lands on Ikaris or how many times Gilgamesh can stab Wolverine until he stops. And it would be as amazing as the single page he dedicates to it. But only one page is really needed, especially given the full nature of the fight.

Rasmus: It was all a dream (/psychic trick played by a super powerful Celestial that is totally going to kill everyone on Earth)!

Yeah, a lot of space is dedicated to the planning and the politics of it all, and then not much is given to the actual fight. Which is fine, really. Because the fight’s not the point. The cost of going forth with the plan, of the moves that the players have made to put the plan into motion, the sacrifices they’ve made and the things they’ve shown they’re willing to sacrifice. These are the important things and the things that will have repercussions down the line.

Sinister has that wonderful line, “They won’t thank us, but we’re mutants and we’re used to that.” He knows people will be angry at them for going through with the plan. But the ends justify the means to him. In the end, people will be angry, but also thankful that the mutants (and, most importantly, Sinister) saved them.

And then the Progenitor tricks everyone. The plan doesn’t go through, but the entire world is shown what would’ve happened. There is none of the glory left for the mutants, only the blame.

Sean As the section title implies, there’s a degree to which all of this was a Shaggy Dog story. The sort where all this buildup leads to a wet fart of an ending. It was all a dream. There was no point to any of this. Why did we have to read an issue of wheel spinning?

And yet, it does serve a purpose. In event comics such as this, the moral quandaries set up by the writer are often discarded in favor of mindless violence and punchy punchy time. And yet, by revealing that this isn’t an option early on, Gillen makes it clear that this won’t end with a big action scene (or, maybe it will, but not in the way of killing God).

Things seem pretty hopeless at the moment, but the final page gives us …

Boys Keep Swinging

Rasmus: Starfox! The Eternal thirst trap.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really know Eros that well. I know he’s Thanos’ sexy lover brother, who is as into love as Thanos is into death. I know he was once an Avenger. I think he has some kind of pheromone powers. He’s one of those characters, where I’ve seen him mentioned more often than I’ve actually seen him on panel.

What about you, Sean? Are you a Starfox lover?

Sean: To be honest, I don’t really know him either. But I did see him on the cover of the tie-in he’s leading in a few months time, and I thought to myself, “My god, I need to write about him.” The reasoning is rather straightforward: I’m bisexual and I’m horny for David Bowie. And by god if Starfox doesn’t invoke the Thin White Duke of Death. I mean, good god, that open shirt. The boots that look like foxes. The way his sleeves dangle while also being tight to the skin. The lipstick! Everything about him makes me want to jump into the Marvel Universe and [REDACTED BY STANDARDS AND PRACTICES]! 

Jury Box

  • After blaming Tony Stark in our chat about last issue, it’s a delight to see him say, “You can’t blame me for this! Only I can blame me for this.”
  • Destiny has some killer lines in this. My favorite is “Dress in white all you like, Emma, but know that the blood is on our hands.”
  • Are the mutants deviants? The fact that the deviants come to the mutants’ rescue through the Krakoan gates seems to settle the matter.
  • Wait, did Domino get ripped in half while Makkari punched Quentin Quire in the face?
  • Yes, horizontally. But who is that getting ripped in half vertically by Ikaris?
  • I don’t know, Polaris? Regardless, for a one-page battle scene, a lot is going on. 
  • Stunning work by Schiti!
  • I don’t really have much to add about the issue itself. But since I did it to Grant Morrison, I have to ask: Have you read The Locked Tomb series yet, Kieron? It’s very much None More Goth.
Sean Dillon
Rasmus Lykke

Rasmus Skov Lykke will write for food (or, in a pinch, money).
When not writing, he spends his time with his fiancée, their daughter and their cats, usually thinking about writing.